The Rhetoric of Chikin

The struggles over whether or not same-sex marriage should be lawful has centered on 'Chikin' -- that is Atlanta-based company Chic-fil-a's brand. Though it has been known for a while that Chic-fil-a donates money to organizations like Focus on the Family and Exodus (both rally against same-sex marriage), the lid exploded off this pressure-cooker issue when Chic-fil-a COO Dan Cathy made his statement about gay marriage. Calls for boycott, which already existed, grew louder, public officials said they would keep the chain from their cities, and many Facebookian voices cried out loud from both sides of the issue.

What I've noticed is how the reaction to Cathy's comments (i.e. the boycott, the accusations of bigotry, the mayor's of Boston and Chicago making statements) has been labelled as 'whining', 'ridiculous', even 'intolerant'. Many have said that homosexuals and liberals were trying to deny freedom of speech to Cathy and to his company.

Noticeably, when a minority group denied equal rights raises it's voice and opinion, it gets labelled and is told to 'shut-up' ( I actually saw Facebook posts of this nature). Then the battle cry of free speech is raised (rather ironically) as though the Christian Right were being denied its voice somehow.

I think somewhere in the mix of some people's bickering, name calling and pettiness, both sides have let this get away from the real issue. We all know we have the right to free speech. Everyone seems to be exercising it really well lately. However, it seems that what is being confused as denial of free speech is simply the consequences of speaking. Whenever someone or a group say something someone else or another group doesn't like, there are always risks of reaction. This is just human behavior. Now, I'm not condoning name calling and personal attack here, but we must realize that there are going to be various kinds of reactions (no matter your platform).

For example, just within the last month when Oreo posted a picture of a 'Pride' cookie on its Facebook page, people began posting. Notably, many people said they would stop buying Oreo cookies, and there were some rather hateful remarks. And, let us not forget in the late 90s when the Southern Baptist Convention voted to boycott Disney because of Disney's support for same-sex couples and because Ellen DeGeneres outed herself on her ABC (Disney-owned) sitcom. The Southern Baptist Convention was making its statement against what it saw as sinful. Obviously, the Right has had a history of making its points be heard too.

Underneath all of the reactions, though, is the real issue.  The real issue is about equal rights under the law. It is lawful for a man and woman to get married; however, it is not lawful for  a same-sex couple to get married. It is even banned, a bold, forbidding, and denying move.

Why is it that those who believe in what they call 'traditional' marriage want to deny marriage to those who do not share the same view? How does allowing same-sex couples to marry affect the heterosexual couple's right to marry? As far as I know, no homosexual is asking married straight people to give up their rights to marry and their rights to share the legal benefits of that marriage. No one telling straight married people that their choice is bringing God's judgement on a whole nation. No one is telling straight people that their desires are unnatural or disordered. No one is telling straight married people that they are the only choice for raising children. No one denies straight couples the right to be on an insurance plan together, file taxes together, or to be involved in medical decisions together. No one tells straight married couples who are together for many years that they cannot be part of their partner's funeral.

Yet, all of this is ok when applied to gay people. It is ok that private corporations and churches and affiliated organizations work to keep gay people from having the same treatment as straight people. This is what is at the root of this issue. Organizations like Focus on the Family work to legislate their view of morality, thus denying loving same-sex couples the right to be a legally recognized family just like their straight next-door neighbors.

Interestingly, Focus on the Family says that there are health benefits for 'married men and women' which include the following:

• Higher levels of physical and mental health
• Longer lives
• Happier, healthier and less violent relationships
• Greater emotional support
• Lower levels of depression and suicide
• Reduced risk of either perpetrating or suffering a crime
• Increased individual earnings and savings

**Borrowed from 'Talking Points (Marriage)

Though this group posits the benefits of marriage, they work to deny same-sex couples the same benefits. Not only do they believe that marriage is supposed to be between a man and woman (which is fine if that's their belief), but they support legislation that makes this the rule for all others (which is not so fine). And to this organization working to deny equal rights goes some of Chic-fil-a's money.

So, for me,  as a consumer, my only way to 'vote' on this issue is to choose where to put my money and where not to put it. In this era, it is very difficult to make ethical choices about how we spend. We often don't know where our products come from. However, if what I do find out about a company is disagreeable to me, I can choose to redirect my money to other groups that match my values. Though this has been labelled 'ridiculous' or 'whiny', all of us have this right. Today, many who side with Chic-fil-a showed their support by lining up and buying chicken. Many who don't side with Chic-fil-a have chosen not to go there. This is how consumerism works in a free society.

All the while I've become more reflective about all the verbiage used during this latest skirmish in the so-called 'Culture Wars'. I think an analysis of this most recent episode in our history and counter protests to other historical liberation movements would be profitable. Perhaps this could be my MA thesis work. Perhaps this could be my contribution to the movement.

Loafing after Leaping

"At least your right arm isn't sawed off and you still have that nice homeless shelter to stay at every other Friday during thunder storms; oh, and thank god that flesh eating virus hasn't acted up in a while. You gotta count your blessings, you know!" the world to the hobo.

I've not posted in a while because life threw nasty pieces of itself in my path, making the journey more worthy of my emergency response mode, a mode that I'm actually quite good at, despite how bitchy I become when problems crop up. I can somehow gather the pieces when life gets me down.

So, when I came back from vacation, my car broke down on the way to work on a Monday morning. This happened during the week that I was supposed to leave to travel to read at a conference. (On a good note, I had won an award).

I had this odd feeling that Sunday night before the breakdown that something was going to be wrong with my car. Perhaps it was the omen left by my kitty in the corner of my dining room. Yes, I had a kitty sitter to come take care of him, but kitty still left me a smelly sign to clean up. Vacation had been so utterly relaxing and perfect and here I come back hitting the ground running on life's little messes. I don't think my shoulders have relaxed yet during the last two weeks. That nervous little cat from Looney Tunes, you know the one chased by Pepe le Pew, has had nothing on me. My fight or flight's kept my claws clinging.

My clanging car's transmission, as it turned out, had to be replaced to the tune of $2800.00. Empathetic people who mean well always say things like: "Well, at least you weren't out of town when it happened", which is really the last sort of thing you'd like to hear in those moments where you feel beaten. Also, I was behind in my coursework yet couldn't focus at work or with my reading because of the car issue. Not only did I have to deal with being carless, but I also had to act fast to come up with the money. (I have a small emergency fund, but it wasn't ready for that big of a problem).

Luckily, my dear partner was planning to go to the conference with me, so we took his car. This was my first graduate conference as a participant, so I was really nervous. I was afraid as a first year MA student that I would be such a misfit. This feeling lasted the first half of day one of the conference, where I mostly ran in PhD students who talked of things I hadn't heard of yet. They were nice and friendly, but I felt intimidated, part of my inferiority complex, not anything they said.

I got over this feeling, fellow-shippped and became part of a community (I'm rather isolated as I'm doing my MA by distance), and felt better for having gone and read my first conference paper. This experience opened a whole new world to me.

So, at least I made it through the week, and I count my blessings that it was a successful time! The conference was a nice boost to my self-esteem. I got my car back the Monday after the conference, and the status quo has resumed. Life's ebbs and flows keep us on our toes I suppose, but this whole experience has made me more reflective about where I am in life and about what I really want out of life. It's made me appreciate and savor the enjoyable moments. It's made me realize that after crises and stressful moments, it's ok to take a break. It is ok to loaf with myself and 'invite my soul' to follow down a path of doing nothing as I see fit. And this week, I've allowed myself to do just that: sweet nothing.

Ahh Vacation - Letting Go and Hanging Loose

It was a bomb-bursting vacation while I travelled to Michigan to chill with family for a solid nine days. The 4th is very festive time for us because we cook out, sit out pool-side for days, go to a fireworks show, and go Lake Michigan to watch the sun descend into the watery abyss. This is my favorite way to spend the 4th ever.

This was a much needed vacation. Despite bringing school work with me, I gave up the ghost of "studenting" and decided to let life flow. Before going, I was dead tired, angry, frustrated, and so uptight. By allowing myself to vacation while on vacation, I was able to enjoy life unencumbered.

Hanging loose is perhaps the best thing we can do for ourselves. I intend to incorporate more of this vacation motto in my daily life. Here's how:

1. Take time to really enjoy music. During this trip, my amazing fellow vacationer made a great road-trip mix of 8 cds. We jammed the whole drive. Also, I went to two concerts while there: the Beach Boys and Def Leppard. Rarely do I dance to music publicly because I'm afraid of embarrassing myself (imagine Carlton on Fresh Prince); however, I let go of my fears and just danced.

2. Try new things. Usually life gets in a routine and you get in a rut. Vacation blows the doors off of the 'same old, same old' and let's you mix it up a bit. I went to a brewery, did a wine tasting, saw a lighthouse up close for the first time, and went to a blueberry farm where I bought the best blueberries I've ever had.

3. Chill. Often life is just go, go, go. But, it pays to take time to sit down, recline your chair, and relax. My most 'chilling' moments were in the pool, where I floating on a tube and sipped a few drinks. It's a great way to unwind.

4. Eat S'mores. Often S'mores are camping fare, but if you don't want to go outside, I witnessed a great indoor trick. Get an unscented candle or tea light, light it, put your marshmallow on a s'more stick, and toast it to your liking. This is a great desert. Be sure to blow out the candle when done.

5. Buy a treat.  Buy yourself something if you can budget it. It's nice to treat yourself. I bought a ten-pound box of blueberries since they were farm-fresh and so good. I've eaten a good bit of them, but am freezing most of them for later use.

I think if we vacation our daily living a little more, life will feel much more fun. Often, when we come back to the 'real' world, we get right back into our routines of being stressed, being over extended, and constantly being 'on'. But, it's important to recharge ourselves somehow with little daily vacas.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Honest Abe fights vampires. Some might sneer at this concept, but I find it fun. In a time perhaps overladen with vampire drama, it is nice to have a rather comedic and Gothic take on one of our most memorable presidents. Abraham Lincoln seems the perfect candidate for weaving a 'hidden' side into a historical figure's life, for he exemplifies great virtue. That he's the 19th century male Buffy works, and surprisingly (yet oddly) makes him seem more human and heroic, probably because we learn he has a personal axe to grind (all puns intended).

Young Abraham Lincoln's (Lux Haney-Jardine) formative moment as the man who will end slavery and fight vampires begins when he witnesses his black, childhood friend Will Johnson (Curtis Harris) being beaten. Despite his father's warnings to look away, Lincoln runs, hatchet in hand, to save his friend, unwittingly earning the ire of Jack Barts (Martin Csokas), who turns out to be undead. The price for young Abe's intervention comes at a great loss, which inspires the adult Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) to seek out Barts for revenge, but this becomes a lifelong pursuit of vamp slaying that gets intertwined with the moral issues surrounding slavery and the Civil War. 

The film's hyperbolic action does make you chuckle, but in a good way. Often, superhuman strength is played so seriously in movies we forget how fun it is to appreciate the comedic unbelievability of super hero strength. I mean, Lincoln can slash a tree down in one fell swoop with his axe. Add a little silver to the blade and he can kill vamps while using crazy martial arts moves.  This type of action has been done so seriously so many times, that adding something funny really adds freshness to the action scenes. 

Yet, this film also mixes the comedic with the Gothic. The costumes, the gray hues of sets, and a couple of steam punk gadgets add a romantic, faux-historical visual flare. To this is the added the melancholy of Lincon's story, scary vampires who can disappear and reappear before your eyes, and characters with rather morbid aspects. 

I enjoyed Benjamin Walker as Lincoln. He was believable and brought a fair amount of darkness to his role. At the same time, Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Mary Todd Lincoln was a great choice. She portrays a playfully, sharp Mary Todd, who Lincoln, despite warnings to remain single-heartedly devoted to vampire slaying, cannot resist loving. Dominic Cooper as Henry Sturgess, Jimmi Simpson as Joshua Speed, and Anthony Mackie as Will Johnson all make a great band of vampire-slaying friends. 

If you go to the movies looking for  a serious period piece or a purely dark tale with mythical weight, you'll be disappointed. If you go to the movies looking for a fun fusion of vampire meets Abraham Lincoln with a little darkness peppered with hyperbolic action, this is a great film for you. 

This movie made me curious about the book by Seth Grahame-Smith, who also wrote the Pride and Prejudice and Vampires. There's something interesting about bringing together 19th century history and today's vampire/zombie obsession that makes sense. Maybe it helps us re-imagine older but still popular narratives in terms of today's post-apocalyptic action tales, giving the older narratives a new relevance. 

3 out of 4

Rock of Ages Review

I love campy musicals anyway. Add 80's rock 'n' roll, throw in Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Mary J. Blige, and I'm most definitely there. Rock of Ages, adapted from the Broadway musical, is like a long glee episode that took a time-machine back in time. This is compliment, I promise. (Warning spoilers follow).

Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough) is just a small town girl all lonely in a bus pointed toward LA, where her grandmother has pushed her to pursue her dream. Classic newcomer moment happens when she steps off the bus and gets welcomed to the city by a friendly thief, who runs down the street with her only suitcase, which is of course filled with vinyl. Not even pretending to chase down this creep, Sherrie's soon-to-be boyfriend Drew Boley (Diego Boneto) darts across the highway to make sure she's OK. Not only feeling sympathy for her, Drew falls in love right away. He gets her a job at the Bourbon Club, run by Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin) and Lonny (Russell Brand). From here, Sherrie and Drew's romance develops and has its problems, Drew gets a big break, they both have to sell out on their dreams for a little while, and then it all ends up happily fixed in the end.

The plot behind the love story brings the most interesting aspects of the movie together. Crazy protesters, organized by Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta-Jones) in a ploy to get more attention to her mayor husband's (Bryan Cranston) campaign, and part of her own inner rock demons, threaten to bring the Bourbon down. Dupree and Lonny need money fast and rock god Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) is the only one who can bring that kind of attention and revenue to the club.

While I love the musical scenes between Drew and Sherrie -- we get to see them sing their budding love in 'Waiting for a Girl Like You'-- some of the best parts of the movie involve the oversexed, irresistibly hot rocker Stacee Jaxx, an ass-hole for sure, but a groupie king nontheless. Perhaps the best scene is between him and the alluringly and deceivingly cute Rolling Stone reporter Constance Sack (Malin Ackerman), where she's trying to be a serious reporter, but she can't resist Jaxx's seething sexuality.

Alec Baldwin is the perfect hardcore rock-lover and Bourbon owner, who just wants to rock, but he has to take care of business too. Baldwin and Brand play well off each other, with Brand's zany Britishness and Baldwin's genuine and quiet young-at-heart charm. They end up playing their mutual love and  attraction with great comedic effect, a commonly acceptable way to play the gay card while keeping it light. I think this works well in this film, but I do wonder when it will be OK to not make same-sex attraction a joke just so it's easier for everyone. But, I digress.

The soundtrack to this movie is absolutely amazing. In an age of mash-ups, we get good fusions of 'Juke Box Hero/ I Love Rock 'n' Roll', 'Shadows of the Night / Harden My Heart', and 'We Built this City / We're Not Gonna Take It'. Cruise and Zeta-Jones sing well in a musical with the likes of Mary J. Blige, and the choreography is just simply fun.

Running at 123 mins, it is a long film, but every musical moment makes it worth your while. If you're an 80's rock lover, this is a great musical tribute to a wonderful era.

YYY
(out of 4)

Thinking on These Things

Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar



For the past while, I've been in a rather dark mood and unable to see much rosiness, happiness, beauty, or whatever you wanna call it in the universe. Feeling unloved, under appreciated, and wounded, the last few months have been a struggle. At times I've been full of anger, sadness, and nerves. Other times I've been deflated, hollow, dry, and puddled like a liquid clock in a surrealist's world.  Last night in particular I was feeling unfriended, icky from my unhealthful food, full of frustration, and eventually just tired.

Though I feel self-indulgent and a little embarrassed to admit this, I somehow feel compelled to spill the auto-biography of my pain. Nevertheless, I think much can be learned from a dark night of living through miserable feelings. For example, despite it all, I found some enthusiasms for life again last night, and it all connects back to an actress and her book.

About a month ago Sissy Spacek was coming to my city to talk about her memoir, My Extraordinary Ordinary Life, replete with tales of growing up in Texas and making it in the film industry. One of the most striking things in her book is how solidly well-formed her childhood was. It seems this gave her what she needed for later success. Her father and mother were supportive and positive. Seeing Sissy being interviewed live was amazing. The hour flew by; I could have listened to her forever as she regaled stories of working on Carrie and meeting her husband and having Bill Paxton house sit (disastrous though it was) for her when he was young. When I had her sign my copy, she was so genuine and kind. Full of grace and charm.



Though I had read most of the memoir the day before meeting her, I still had the last 60 pages to go. Picking up the book last night, I read about when her mother passed. Her mother was her 'travel companion' who was such a positive influence. In fact, Sissy writes that her mother's favorite bible verses included passages enjoining an optimistic attitude: Philippians 4:8 and Proverbs 23:7.

So, I read Philippians 4:8, which says, 'Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.'

Wow! This is exactly what I needed to hear at this moment for here I was feeling very depleted and absolutely done with everyone and everything. And then, I was hit with this 'a-ha' as Oprah would call it. Yes, life can be really shitty and dirty and hard, but there are also good things to enjoy and realize. Yet, it is so very difficult to think on these things because many times the brain clings only to those negative aspects of living.

Now, I've subscribed to positive thinking before; however, I have also dangerously repressed any other feelings that were present in my flow of feelings. So, I think we must exercise care in handling our outlook. We can't ignore parts of life, or if we do, it coils itself up and readies itself to strike back. And, when it strikes, it hurts. It is better to accept all of life -- its hurts, its pains, its messes, its beauty, its joy, its wellness-- than just part of it. Things are going to be annoying, hurtful, angering, frustrating, but things are also going to fun, uplifting, lovely, and relaxing too. It helps to see all of life and to calmly notice and accept our reaction to it.  The negative, when it does come, can be transformed if we also are able to see that there is a good there too. Thich Nhat Hanh writes about how important smiles are and shares a poem:

I have lost my smile,
but don't worry.
The dandelion has it.

I'm still sad today but feeling better. I have a dry erase board in my office, and I decided to have little reminders of the good things in life. I drew a dandelion on one side. On the other, I made a 'Think on These Things' List, under which I wrote:

Yummy yogurt
A great friend
An amazing book
A wonderful smile :)

This was the antidote to every negativity I felt this weekend. So, I hope you may find your dandelion to hold your smile and help you when you feel down.

Veggie Log

In my attempts at ‘greener' eating, I decided to start cutting up some raw veggies to eat on.  Partly, this is in hopes of detoxing from my food hangover of bad eating. This year's Memorial Day weekend was filled with a lot of food, and overzealously I supped way too much on delicious Mexicali dip, pizza, Thai food, Pete’s donuts, and the requisite, patriotic hot dogs. Supposedly, an abundant food stock helps insure we eat less because we don’t get that fear of running out and being hungry. However, this theory does not hold up well, for we had enough food for a doom shelter, and I still ate ate ate.

The road to veggie consumption is paved with healthful dips

Raw vegetables are so wonderful: the crispy crunch of celery, the fresh scent of cut-up cucumbers, and the sweet juiciness of carrots are about the best eating experiences in the world. Though some taste buds, accustomed to salt, sugar, and lots of flavors, might find raw vegetables dull, leaving much to be desired. In this case, dips come in handy. There are a variety of flavorful dips out there, some of which are more healthful than others. One of my favorites is probably chocked full of fats and salts as it involves sour cream and a soup mix. This one I plan to eat occasionally.

However, there are better options, chocked full of good proteins and fiber.  For example, I love the flavors and texture of hummus; it is the perfect dip and good for you too. There are several shades, hues, flavors, and types of hummus, and you can make it at home quite easily (see recipe links below). I like to make traditional hummus and black bean hummus, especially if I’m feeling a little spicier. Eating veggies with hummus provides a flavorful and nutritious meal or snack. 

The Cost of Consuming Health

Often there is a fear that eating healthy means spending more; however, this is not necessarily the case. Check out this NPR story about this very issue.  Luckily, having fresh veggies is an affordable way to get more nutrients into your body.  Here’s a nice resource for lots of good veggie information: www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov.

I love the Whole Foods' recipe for black bean hummus.  For a more traditional recipe, check out the Barefoot Contessa’s Hummus recipe.